


Alone You Breathe

by Koyote19



Series: The Purgatory Arc [1]
Category: Gundam Wing
Genre: Angst, Canonical Character Death, M/M, Prequel, Purgatory
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-16
Updated: 2014-10-16
Packaged: 2018-02-21 09:18:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 574
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2462954
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Koyote19/pseuds/Koyote19
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The war is over. What if you didn't intend to be the last man standing?</p><p>Zechs POV after the end of the first war.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Alone You Breathe

**Author's Note:**

> So this was first written as a songfic back in 2003, and ended up serving as the prequel to the Purgatory arc (despite having been written well after I started Damnation and not fitting either Damnation or In the Mouth of Madness in tone or style). Unfortunately I never actually liked the fic or thought it worked quite as well as I wanted it to.
> 
> So this time around, I decided to stop trying to ignore it, and actually attempt to fix it. 
> 
> The parts in italics are still from Savatage’s “Alone You Breathe”, but hopefully the story stands by itself now. And this time, it really is the prequel.

_Which of us is now in exile_  
 _Which in need of amnesty?_  
 _Are you now but an illusion?_  
 _In my mind alone you breathe_

 

It’s raining. 

I hear the thunder first, though there is no lightning to illuminate the predawn sky. Wind lashes the curtains in pale streamers where I’d forgotten to close the window the night before. 

Crawling out of the tangled mass of sheets on the bed, I move across the dark room to stand with my forehead pressed to chilled glass. It’s early still, far too early to be awake; but it’s been weeks since I’ve slept the night through, and dawn is no longer a stranger. 

The rain is oddly fitting, as if all of heaven is shedding the tears I can’t bring myself to release. It’s been nearly a month since the war ended, but with all the flurry of attaining peace… there hasn’t been time to mourn the dead. But today… today is the day that we, Une and I… and the other few close friends that followed you so loyally, have set aside for your memorial. So of course… it’s raining.

Closing my eyes, I try to picture the garden outside the window, where despite the heavy scent of rain in the air, I can still smell the rich perfume of the multitude of roses growing wild in the sheltered courtyard. But my memories hold only the smoking rubble left on the battlefields after the armies have all gone home.

You should be the one standing here, Treize, staring out into the dawn instead of me. I was the one who ran from your side, thinking that my absence would not affect you; and I the one who started the landslide that eventually brought about the end. I don’t deserve to be the last man standing. 

And maybe in the end it didn’t matter. Maybe things were meant to be this way. Maybe that’s why you let me go.

Did you know you were heading for your death? I can’t believe that… or why would you have started? You were a man, not a messiah. And I never believed you to be suicidal… not even at the end. You went after your goal with too much determination to not intend to see the final outcome for yourself.

Is it raining where you are too? Can you see me? Can you hear me? Or am I just talking to the wind and the rain?

I’m so tired. I want you here, _with_ me. If I could stop time, or turn back the clock to before the madness started that claimed us both… but your death bought the world the peace that you dreamed of, and brought back the sanity I had lost. So in the end, you got what you wanted. Maybe it _is_ only me that feels the price was too high. 

But I don’t know how to do this, to go on with my life as if there isn’t a gaping hole left behind. 

Opening my eyes, I turn from the window once more. Dawn is coming soon, and the day’s already stretching long.

Let heaven shed the tears that I cannot.

_You’ve thrown it all away_  
 _And now we’ll never see_  
 _The ending of the play_  
 _The grand design_  
 _The final line_  
 _And what was meant to be_

 

**

In the garden, a man walks slowly through the roses, and stares up at the falling rain.

**Author's Note:**

> So yeah, Damnation will be coming. And eventually In the Mouth of Madness.  
> (With luck, all of Madness.)


End file.
